i had 2 dreams last night..

1) i dreamed that, i'm transferred to a subsidiary of my company.. n the transfer slip said my monthly salary will be directly debited into my account...

i was soooo happy :)

'cos now, i do get my pay on time, but it's getting a cheque on the last day, n i still need to bank it in, n wait for a few days for it to be cleared..

2) i dreamed that, a long time frn again asked me to catch a movie with him..

in early apr, i met up this long-time frn to catch a movie. when we got into the cinema, he suddenly asked tat, if i gonna watch avengers, call him out as well..

den over supper after the movie, he lamented that, he's been too busy with work and will now focus on catching up with frns again..

--------

somehow i feel tat, the first dream is pretty much a desire; a desire for the pay to be debited into the bank on the last working day, instead of getting a cheque...

while, the 2nd, i'm not sure lol..

i had a fabulous time volunteering for ASD last week! so much so i went for a second time this week...

i thought everyone will like bonding with the dogs over there.. but it seems like a couple of them did not pop over this week..

as the place strongly encourage wearing a pair of footwear specifically for the shelter, i went to get a new pair at the last minute, despite not knowing if i'll really continue volunteering or not..

when i got there, a dog which played with me last week remembered my scent and fell into my arms immediately!

then when i went over to play with other dogs, he actually barked at them lol..

some of the dogs recognised me, and got friendly with me this time.. a couple of them even pounced onto me!!

1 of them was pretty big-sized, and i did not dare get it too excited lol.. 'cos its nails are already scratching and leaving red patches on my arms!

out of fun, as one was sniffing my entire body, i used my head to "push" it away lol.. just like how i played with my 2 late dogs.

as i left this group of dogs to join another, i felt they were like a group of orphaned kids, waiting for someone to cuddle them, play with them, and bring them home to love... looking at them, i felt so desolated..

the other group of dogs were very welcoming as well :) hugging ain't a problem lol..

but this time, the dogs spent a lot of time sniffing every part of my body! i'm not sure if they like me that much, or they sniffed the scents of many other dogs and and happy about it, feeling that i must be friendly and approachable :)

before i knew it, we need to leave in a couple of minutes...

seeing that time is not enough, i walked down quickly to the rest of the cages, letting them have a sniff of my scent lol...

then i went to the waiting area, ready to move off.

this time, there was a group of adoption counsellors visiting. i'm not sure how 1 (a lady in her 40s) of them handle/deal with dogs, but a usually dormant and resting dog (at least that's my observation of it for the 2 weeks) actually snapped at her!

all i saw was that, she stood in front of the dog, greeting it, while it's resting its head on the ground. the next thing i saw, was that she jumped up, held her fingers, and went to wash her hands..

it immediately did not rest its head anymore but kept looking up at the rest.. my first response was to immediately go up to the dog to pacify it, to show that it's a gentle fellow... but i did not..

when my guide went over to the lady, and looked at the dog, the dog wagged its tail (i can feel that it's trying to please the guide)...

the guide then explained that the dog could be resting and that it usually does not bite...

then, i saw another one from the counselling group, looking at the dog, gesturing to it that it did something wrong..

i'm not sure how true is that... i can only that, dogs have emotions too, and can get agitated, and annoyed. if u aren't familiar with the dog, do not test its patience...

yesterday was my first time to volunteer at a charity organisation: Action for Singapore Dogs.

And i really felt my presence made a difference to them! I even empathized with one of the dogs!

when we (a handful of volunteers) arrived, a couple of dogs were at the gates welcoming us.

i was suddenly overwhelmed by their warm reception!

i noticed one of the dogs was moving only with his fore legs and the hind legs were crippled. i asked, and realised, he was run over by a lorry, and so lost the legs...

i was simply overwhelmed by sadness.... i never thought this could happen to dogs..

i thought most dogs warm up to visitors easily.. but i was so wrong... i thought, i can approach them easily.. given how other domestic dogs usually warmly welcome me...

but then, once i entered the cages, they shun me, no matter how friendly i try to be..

but luckily, i managed to befriend one of the dogs, to the extent he laid down on the ground, letting me caress him..

jus like how an owner would play with his dog :)

i will wish to find out, if my duty as a volunteer includes making them eligible for adoption as domestic pets again.. or more of purely spending time with them and helping around.. i'd LOVE to do the former!!

i think i've really found my calling in volunteering..

for the past 2 yrs, seeing that my siblings have gotten married and left the house, and my dad is also not staying in the house anymore, my mum became the only person to be always there (in the house, not "for me").

to make sure she is not bored, and has a soul to speak to, i managed to adjust my lifestyle so that weekdays will be my free-to-roam days, as she still has a baby (my sister's) to kill her time with, and wkends (including fri) will be the day i rush home to be with her, as my sister will take the baby home.

it seems an almost perfect plan. Weekends will be the time I spend time with her, and week days will be her tending to the baby.

Over time, we did quarrel over matters. And this often resulted in either of us ignoring each other for a while.

And it seems precisely this kind of "ignoring each other" which is seemingly becoming a norm these days.

Over the past few weekends, it seems we do not have common topics anymore.

It even seemed a norm, that we hang out in our own rooms, and doing our own things to kill time.

Earlier on, before i wrote this blog, even a casual line did not make her talk much. It's become of a situation, where we are used to "not talking to each other and time will still pass".

My original intention of staying home to be with her seems to lose its meaning.

Physically, I'm with her.

But spiritually, we are in different worlds.

Implicitly, it makes me wonder if it means I should really just go out and spend my time outside, and not to be bothered that "I should be there for my mum"..

i jus checked my bank account..

once again, for tis month, i have surplus after my monthly spendings!!

hurray!!

==========

den, i had dinner with a long time frn.. he did not say much, but merely asked if i'll be keen to join him as a financial adviser..

at first thought, i declined it flatly, reasoning that my trials with so-called good-for-me industries always did not work out.

but on 2nd thought, since i'm holding a full-time job already, and, like most books that say "my frn recommended me to join him, and i never looked back since", i'm thinking of taking up his offer n do it part time..

at home, an aged lady tending to a baby boy of almost 2yo sometimes can be shouting, screaming or grumbling at him, and then whispering to him or joking with him the next.

is there a known term or condition for it?

asking, cos it sounds like a familiar scene, but not sure what is it called..

gosh.. the govt has been calling on the general public to take public transport, citing the good of it..

den now, when they really heed the advice, and take public transport, see what happens??

no planning was done. only asking them to switch, but did not plan for the explosion of the number of commuters..

buses have now become so crowded.. trains are now breaking down all so often.

i've only recently learnt / found out / discovered / etc.. the most comfortable way for me to make new frns in the real world..

den now, i remembered tat, on facebook, there r some "friends request" pending my acceptance. it's easy to "add friends" and make connections over there. but how will i fare over such online n anonymous way of befriending?

i used to simply add anyone who's hot or cute, or accept any request as long as there r mutual frns. those were e fun and havoc times.

later, i heard a different way of handling frns requests in facebook: oni add those whom they've met before.

it sounded very different from e way i took.

in real life, among new people, i take time to warm up to their presence and then blend in. but in the online world, it's much easier.. i guess my online persona really is at opposite ends with the real person.

so, last yr, i suddenly had withdrawal symptoms n removed those whom i've not met at all. there r also those whom i never met, but being able to strike a casual conversation with me. i kept them as well. n then, for those new frns requests, i did not accept any.

but then, i felt a deep conflict within myself.
on one hand, i feel too-principled (i rmb enthuz used tis word when i asked his opinion abt me.. n he was already extremely kind to use it very gently. when can i ever reach his level of EQ? :P ) that i put up an invisible (or online?) wall of boundary, preventing me from taking the first step in knowing e person.
but on the other, simply adding anyone may project me as a social butterfly, but i'm actually more of a reserved person.

i think i need to learn how to deal with it..

as i write this blog, i'm suddenly, but appropriately, reminded of wat glazzal, enthuz and chrishansenhome mentioned abt such social-introvertedness n the syndrome.. i guess i can either really accept it, or find someone to tok to abt tis syndrome..

i posted this in my facebook...

tat i'm pleasantly surprised, as, after paying the bills, n deducting the mthly budget for expenses, i still have a surplus!!

i really din expect tat!!

den jus now, as i read the Money column of The Sunday Times, i was "reminded" to read up on the various instruments available for investing.. n wat to take note of ...

oh.. n den tis wk, i tink i'm gonna sign up for a hip-hop dance class :)

umm.. am i really aging?

i'm watching a taiwan talk show.. it's trying to find out why men are still single after 30 yo.

the contents are pretty hilarious... n i also began to reflect on myself..

lol.. in a bid to expand my circle, i plan to... look up e social networking sites.. n read up on the profiles. if they sound interesting, i'll prolly send them a msg..

n see how things go.. :)